Thursday, February 17, 2011

Parent vs. Children

    Parents vs. children. A battle that's been going on for as long as we as a people can remember. Every child has their own individual problem with their parents. Just as every parents has some sort of problem with their child.
    Granted parents feel like that they are only doing what is the best thing for their children, whereas us kids just want our parents out of our hair. As a teenager, I know personally that parents that try to be as involved in their kids lives as possible are quite annoying and come off as very controlling. My parents are the worst when it comes to this. There is a point where parents pass concerned and go straight to demanding and controlling.
     Kids, especially teenagers, are a lot more likely to rebel and do exactly what their parents don't want them to do when they have strict limitations on their lives. We feel that our lives are our own. We don't know every little detail about our parents lives; why do they need to know every little detail about ours? We are likely to go along with reasonable rules that are set. Like, no phones in church, no hanging with friends on Sunday, or no texting at the dinner table or during big family get together. But when it comes to having to let you (parents) read every text that you write or making sure that you can read everything they talk about, even if they delete it because it's not something you need to know, just by going online and looking up their texts.
     Also, I see my parents point of view when it comes to dating, and I agree with it; but I will not agree with the rules they set before dating. Obviously we are going to have friends that are different genders than we are. Who doesn't? But if we don't want to date them, or we actually want to follow our parents dating rules, then I feel that to show that they can actually trust us, they shouldn't freak out every time we try to hang out with one of them when it isn't a big group of friends. It's okay to be a girl and have a close guy friend, and visa verse. If I want to hang out with one of my friends, who just happens to be a guy, I don't want to have to look for five other people to hang out with too. He was the person I wanted to talk to, not them. I am more likely to lie to my parents about it and go hang out with him anyway, just because I want to and I know they would never allow it.
     Teenagers and kids aren't just these hugely over dramatic people that find every reason possible to fight. That's just some lame stereotype we were given. My friends, and myself are actually very reasonable when it comes to rules we are given, but that doesn't mean that you have to place huge rules on us to keep us from ever doing anything. We are going to get hurt, we are going to make mistakes, and sometimes we aren't going to make the best choices. But those were our choices to make. This is our life too. I know that parents are responsible for us as long as we live in their houses, but how can we ever become responsible on our own if we aren't given the chance.
     I would love to know that I have free will to do what I want. I would love to not have to worry about everything I tell my friends, just because I don't want my parents to know because it's too personal. I would love to be able to hang with just one of my guy friends and know that my parents trust me not to do anything, because I don't want to and I know the rules. If we are given rights and opportunities to become responsible and make decisions that we can learn from, we learn how life works. In my opinion, trusting in your kids is one of the best ways to prepare them for the life they will lead after they leave your home. It will also strengthen your relationship between you and your child. They will become responsible, they learn what it means to be trustworthy and how to earn a persons trust, they will learn what a healthy relationship is for a parents and their children, so that they too can have a good relationship with their kids. If parents could just learn this and apply it, you'd be amazed what the results would be.

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